Oh bother...

You know that curiosity killed the cat? I think it was more like "cat-mom was tired of the shenanigans". Dexter is into everything. Glasses of water, half cases of beer, laundry baskets, tv shelves, laundry room, closets (plural) and... yarn. Not sure where they came up with the big skein of pink yarn, but I am guessing it wasn't downstairs when I left this morning. Work blows. Got my Performance thing today, kind of ridiculous. HR says they didn't want it presented to me yet, am talking to HR tomorrow. And one big part of me was sitting there today, reading how I didn't have follow through and I blamed others for my issues etc and I thought, "hmmm, if I just stand up and leave, what happens?" I am talking to HR tomorrow. My sister suggested I ask for severance and/or them not fighting unemployment. I just want to like going to work again... And I don't see that happening here. I will be talking to HR in the morning and see what she says... I hear there are things afoot in our area, and I emailed HR today wondering if another position would be a good idea, she said she had wondered that too. So, we will see.... I might just walk. I don't have anywhere to GO though... Tomorrow is our private adoption meeting!! Fingers crossed!! And I get to knit the whole trip up and back! Yay!! Any questions?

hmmmm - okay - so that kind of worked. I'll keep going.

Back in November of 2008, I lost my job. Some days - I hated that job. A lot of time - I loved it. I put together large training events for a large company. Really enjoyed it. Deeply disappointed when I lost my job. Nine months later - I finally found another job - thought it would be similar for the Large Company's competitor. It wasn't. I did nothing. Seriously - I read a book at my desk, the girl next to me gave herself a mani/pedi DURING the day.
Found something else last June. Thought Great, same kind of thing as original job. YAY! Nope - not it either.

Now I find myself on a "performance improvement plan" with my manager (although - not technically, since it has to go through HR and they don't know have any communication from my manager yet) and I am debating my next steps.
Part of me - wants to run like hell.
Part of me - wants to stay and fix this.

My husband (my sweet, long suffering Husband) says "Look - life is too short. It's not that you failed. Did you try your hardest? Do you think you can fix this? No? Then you didn't fail."

But I've never been fired. Well - from one stupid temp job a million years ago in college. I'm still looking for a job - that hasn't stopped... but aurgh.


I keep thinking - what else can I do? What other jobs could I do?

******
This weekend - we're going boating. It's Cinco de Mayo, It's Derby day and dammit - I need a break. So there will be drinking and dumb hat wearing (I bought one - it's white - but I bought a HUGE orange flower to go on it - along with ribbon - so while it's not a derby like Hubs thinks I should have - it'll be fine.)

First - in case anyone reading this thinks I'm full of myself - I don't believe I'm really Queen of the World. My sister & I used to address letters that way - so I still fall back on it.

Who am I? I'm 30 something - living in one country, working in another, waiting to adopt our first child, hoping it happens soon.
I often have things to say and everyone around me has already heard it - so guess what? Y'all get to hear it!! I will most likely talk about my kitties (Dexter, 7 months & Shadow 2ish years), I will talk about how I'm trying to learn how to knit, how much we love travelling and probably some of "the other".

 Let's see what happens? Anyone have any questions for me?